Doctors have saved my life, and I appreciate that.
A couple of doctors have found my weird body motivating
and have worked extra hard to find out what was wrong.
I will tell you about them when you are older.
But I have also had some really incompetent,
lazy, un-curious doctors. I do not believe they ever actually set a
goal to kill me, but they almost accomplished it.
The Golden Bedpan goes to a young man whose name shall remain
a secret in these digits. He was an intern in 1984 at UC San Francisco.
I had returned from India after months of loose motions brother and no
adequate cause had been found, so they were going to just treat me and
get me out of there if they could.
TPN was rather new in those days and that was what I was going to get.
It means nutrition without using your ruined gut. We give you all you need
in a bag, already digested. YUM!
Because the syrup is a bit thick for your arm veins, they need to put a pipe
into the BIG blood vessels near the heart. Large volumes of blood flowing rapidly
to dilute the solution and nourish your cells. The route to the big blood vessels lies
somewhere around the shoulder blade, collarbone area.
So, one day two very young doctors in training approached my bed on 11 Moffitt Hospital
and proceed to thread a catheter from outside my body to a location near my heart.
I feel pain and hear repeated cries of 'still hitting clavicle' over and over. I am thinking this is not good.
Then 4th year says to intern,
WE SHOULD HAVE USED STERILE PROCEDURE!
I am not making this up. Yes it was 30 years ago, but EVEN THEY knew better at the time.
They continue, kind of sweating, not having fun at all.
Then again,
WE SHOULD HAVE USED STERILE PROCEDURE!
I still am not making this up. Oh how many times I have wished I had called
for their supervisor at that point.
When they said it the third time, I did yell!
STOP SAYING THAT!
YES YOU SHOULD HAVE , but stop saying it!
If ever I wanted to sue someone, it was then.
By God's grace, I did not die from their incompetence.
Most people who go on TPN for very long do die from infection after a while.
They sent me home on it, at 400 dollars a bag each day. They lent me a fridge to keep the bags, they trained me on procedures for hooking up and changing bags, etc. I had to scrub and mask like a surgeon and things went smoothly. After about three months, my gut woke up and I
began to go off the iv syrup. Thank you Aunt Colette!!!
Monday, August 18, 2014
Sunday, August 17, 2014
LIVING THE DREAM, orig a FB note
LIVING THE DREAM
IN FIFTH GRADE, circa 1970, Mrs. Theda Miller asked usal what we wanted to be when we grew up.
I KNEW THE ANSWER!!
A preacher or a missionary,
I knew the answer. I had known for a while.
It came straight from Matthew 28.
Go Ye into all the world.
I thought I better go, but I also wanted to go.
I wanted to go to Africa, where little hungry kids would be so grateful for a bowl of anything.
I wanted to go to China, where Dr. George S. Benson had been before his
illustrious career in education.
And for years, on the back wall at Rogers Chapel, there was a huge poster of black and white pictures with the
headline, WHAT IS SUN KYI DOING IN CHINA?
And I wanted to go to the Philippines, where the first foreigner I had ever met, Conrado, a preacher boy for Crowley's Ridge College, was from.
My mother's side of the family considered mission work to be the
best thing anyone could ever choose to do.
Although my uncle, J.C. Reed, was a missionary to Guatemala for over 40 years, I think I only met him once, probably for a funeral.
My great-uncle, Miller Forcade, was an eccentric gentleman, who had done mission work in several
countries, including Japan. I will never forget his prayers before bedtime at DeRidder. His prayers were like a course in
geography and missions. He was very specific.
I hope there are still prayers like that.
I recently was invited to a 50th anniversary celebration for a church he
had started up north in 1964.
And of course, my great-grandfather, Ben J Elston, baptized George S. Benson in Oklahoma or Kansas long ago.
Anyway, in 6th grade, I did put up with a bit of derision as the popular boys would snort, PREACHER!, or MISSIONARY! at me
in the halls or boys' room or playground. But this made me smug and righteous-feeling inside.
Nothing much happened between 6th grade and Sandy in this story.
Nothing, that is, except CRA, John Clayton, and Larry Brinkley.
Crowley's Ridge Academy was definitely a mixed bag. Horrible teachers and good teachers.
Cruel classmates and wonderful Christian classmates. Some in-between. I read and studied the Bible
a lot and I can still see AJ Hendrix putting his charts up on the board.
John Clayton, of Does God Exist ministries, was a brilliant apologist, and superb speaker.
We heard him at Pocahontas, Piggott, Jonesboro, and many other places too numerous to
mention. I learned so much from him that I can never thank him enough. He is 80-something now and still going strong.
Larry Brinkley brought joyful, smart Christianity into our tiny world of
Rogers' Chapel and BE BAPTIZED TODAY sermons week after week. Larry held
our meeting, as they used to say, for a few years. That meant he preached every night
for a week or so in the summer and we invited neighbors and local churches to join us.
I still get goosebumps remembering the year when three of the community's most
supposedly unreachable elderly sinners were saved! Larry would come eat watermelon
with our family, even though we could not invite him inside, and he introduced my mom
to the William Barclay commentaries. He was a superstar to us. He must have put thousands of hours
into planning and carrying out youth rallies and SO MANY OTHER MINISTRIES. Later he would also teach
some at CRA. Also going strong still.
I grew up thinking the sixth step of salvation was After high school, Harding!
Even though my two elder siblings strayed from this path,
I went straight to Harding the summer after high school. After high school and a little surgery, that is.
Even though I got two stinking B's in summer school, it was a good plan. Before the
thousands arrived, a few hundred of us had the place to ourselves. So I got to know
my way around and make friends I could never find again.
HARDING, OH HARDING! How many blessings!
Great Bible teachers and Jim Woodroof and Sandy, to name the tope three.
Of course, friend to last a lifetime.
I met Sandy in chapel my second semester. She was already friends with my sister Beth
so that was a point in my favor. Poor guy named Tim something sat between us and never figured out
he should switch with one of us. We had a lot of important things in common and could talk easily. We both
wanted to be missionaries and she had a class under Gary Walker, visiting missionary who was
recruiting people to go to India. As we became more serious, we were also both making commitments
to go to India with Gary.
I must mention Campaigns Northeast and Owen Olbricht here as important influences. On campaigns
I saw that I could read the Bible to people and that God could change
eternity for them. I also loved the people I got to work with. I
experienced the difficulty of remaining motivated when results seemed
to come very slow, as well.
After graduating and marrying and studying in Lubbock and raising money, etc, we left for
Inda on MARCH FORTH, 1981.
India was wonderful and terrible by turns. We had small victories, big shocks, abundant blessings,
good co-workers, and made friends to last another lifetime, thanks to the Internet and FB.
On the heels of our commitment to stay longer, move to Mysore and start a brand new church,
and an intensive language course, my health took a sharp turn in a bad direction. I spent 3 months in
the hospital at UCSF and Sandy had to bring our two little kids home by herself. The particular dream known
as INDIA had to be put aside.
7 YEARS IN CALIFORNIA
I did many part-time jobs, teaching English,
subbing, preaching, modeling, etc
I got my MA in TESOL from SFSU.
Took me 5 years part-time and many trips over and under the Bay Bridge.
We learned a lot about ourselves, our kids grew.
If we cannot go to India, we will look for a cleaner country
where we can support ourselves! Japan has a lot of good jobs
teaching English!!
Soooo....on a credit card I went to JALT in Omiya in 1990. Is this what
they call a Hail Mary? I would interview with several companies and
choose the best of the many offers I would get. Not quite.
The interviews were very sparse. And they looked askance at me thinking of
bringing two small kids over.
For old times sake, and to respect my father, I went to visit Joe
Betts, pioneer and grandfather of mission work in Japan, who had
known both mine and Sandy's parents at Harding. As we toured the facilities of
Iberaki Christian College, he lent me a copy of the Japan Times, where
I found an ad for teachers for the newly opened Mount Hood Community College
Kurashiki in the lovely little town of Kojima.
Well, I applied for a job there, and the rest is FANTANSY, GRACE, FABULOUSITY,
ETC...
God has let us support ourselves,
teach the Gospel,
make friends,
make a home.
in short,
God has let us
LIVE THE DREAM!
I KNEW THE ANSWER!!
A preacher or a missionary,
I knew the answer. I had known for a while.
It came straight from Matthew 28.
Go Ye into all the world.
I thought I better go, but I also wanted to go.
I wanted to go to Africa, where little hungry kids would be so grateful for a bowl of anything.
I wanted to go to China, where Dr. George S. Benson had been before his
illustrious career in education.
And for years, on the back wall at Rogers Chapel, there was a huge poster of black and white pictures with the
headline, WHAT IS SUN KYI DOING IN CHINA?
And I wanted to go to the Philippines, where the first foreigner I had ever met, Conrado, a preacher boy for Crowley's Ridge College, was from.
My mother's side of the family considered mission work to be the
best thing anyone could ever choose to do.
Although my uncle, J.C. Reed, was a missionary to Guatemala for over 40 years, I think I only met him once, probably for a funeral.
My great-uncle, Miller Forcade, was an eccentric gentleman, who had done mission work in several
countries, including Japan. I will never forget his prayers before bedtime at DeRidder. His prayers were like a course in
geography and missions. He was very specific.
I hope there are still prayers like that.
I recently was invited to a 50th anniversary celebration for a church he
had started up north in 1964.
And of course, my great-grandfather, Ben J Elston, baptized George S. Benson in Oklahoma or Kansas long ago.
Anyway, in 6th grade, I did put up with a bit of derision as the popular boys would snort, PREACHER!, or MISSIONARY! at me
in the halls or boys' room or playground. But this made me smug and righteous-feeling inside.
Nothing much happened between 6th grade and Sandy in this story.
Nothing, that is, except CRA, John Clayton, and Larry Brinkley.
Crowley's Ridge Academy was definitely a mixed bag. Horrible teachers and good teachers.
Cruel classmates and wonderful Christian classmates. Some in-between. I read and studied the Bible
a lot and I can still see AJ Hendrix putting his charts up on the board.
John Clayton, of Does God Exist ministries, was a brilliant apologist, and superb speaker.
We heard him at Pocahontas, Piggott, Jonesboro, and many other places too numerous to
mention. I learned so much from him that I can never thank him enough. He is 80-something now and still going strong.
Larry Brinkley brought joyful, smart Christianity into our tiny world of
Rogers' Chapel and BE BAPTIZED TODAY sermons week after week. Larry held
our meeting, as they used to say, for a few years. That meant he preached every night
for a week or so in the summer and we invited neighbors and local churches to join us.
I still get goosebumps remembering the year when three of the community's most
supposedly unreachable elderly sinners were saved! Larry would come eat watermelon
with our family, even though we could not invite him inside, and he introduced my mom
to the William Barclay commentaries. He was a superstar to us. He must have put thousands of hours
into planning and carrying out youth rallies and SO MANY OTHER MINISTRIES. Later he would also teach
some at CRA. Also going strong still.
I grew up thinking the sixth step of salvation was After high school, Harding!
Even though my two elder siblings strayed from this path,
I went straight to Harding the summer after high school. After high school and a little surgery, that is.
Even though I got two stinking B's in summer school, it was a good plan. Before the
thousands arrived, a few hundred of us had the place to ourselves. So I got to know
my way around and make friends I could never find again.
HARDING, OH HARDING! How many blessings!
Great Bible teachers and Jim Woodroof and Sandy, to name the tope three.
Of course, friend to last a lifetime.
I met Sandy in chapel my second semester. She was already friends with my sister Beth
so that was a point in my favor. Poor guy named Tim something sat between us and never figured out
he should switch with one of us. We had a lot of important things in common and could talk easily. We both
wanted to be missionaries and she had a class under Gary Walker, visiting missionary who was
recruiting people to go to India. As we became more serious, we were also both making commitments
to go to India with Gary.
I must mention Campaigns Northeast and Owen Olbricht here as important influences. On campaigns
I saw that I could read the Bible to people and that God could change
eternity for them. I also loved the people I got to work with. I
experienced the difficulty of remaining motivated when results seemed
to come very slow, as well.
After graduating and marrying and studying in Lubbock and raising money, etc, we left for
Inda on MARCH FORTH, 1981.
India was wonderful and terrible by turns. We had small victories, big shocks, abundant blessings,
good co-workers, and made friends to last another lifetime, thanks to the Internet and FB.
On the heels of our commitment to stay longer, move to Mysore and start a brand new church,
and an intensive language course, my health took a sharp turn in a bad direction. I spent 3 months in
the hospital at UCSF and Sandy had to bring our two little kids home by herself. The particular dream known
as INDIA had to be put aside.
7 YEARS IN CALIFORNIA
I did many part-time jobs, teaching English,
subbing, preaching, modeling, etc
I got my MA in TESOL from SFSU.
Took me 5 years part-time and many trips over and under the Bay Bridge.
We learned a lot about ourselves, our kids grew.
If we cannot go to India, we will look for a cleaner country
where we can support ourselves! Japan has a lot of good jobs
teaching English!!
Soooo....on a credit card I went to JALT in Omiya in 1990. Is this what
they call a Hail Mary? I would interview with several companies and
choose the best of the many offers I would get. Not quite.
The interviews were very sparse. And they looked askance at me thinking of
bringing two small kids over.
For old times sake, and to respect my father, I went to visit Joe
Betts, pioneer and grandfather of mission work in Japan, who had
known both mine and Sandy's parents at Harding. As we toured the facilities of
Iberaki Christian College, he lent me a copy of the Japan Times, where
I found an ad for teachers for the newly opened Mount Hood Community College
Kurashiki in the lovely little town of Kojima.
Well, I applied for a job there, and the rest is FANTANSY, GRACE, FABULOUSITY,
ETC...
God has let us support ourselves,
teach the Gospel,
make friends,
make a home.
in short,
God has let us
LIVE THE DREAM!
Friday, August 8, 2014
Marriage tips for guys, reprint, not my oroginal.
These are from :
Below are 20 wise marriage tips from a man that was recently divorced. You wouldn't normally think that a divorced man would give good advice on being a husband, but this man has been through enough hardship to know what is worth fighting for:
Below are 20 wise marriage tips from a man that was recently divorced. You wouldn't normally think that a divorced man would give good advice on being a husband, but this man has been through enough hardship to know what is worth fighting for:
MARRIAGE ADVICE I WISH I WOULD HAVE HAD:
Obviously, I’m not a relationship expert. But there’s something about my divorce being finalized this week that gives me perspective of things I wish I would have done different… After losing a woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, here’s the advice I wish I would have had...
1) Never stop courting. Never stop dating. NEVER EVER take that woman for granted. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to be that man that would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it. This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. SHE CHOSE YOU. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love.
2) PROTECT YOUR OWN HEART. Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance. Love yourself fully, love the world openly, but there is a special place in your heart where no one must enter except for your wife. Keep that space always ready to receive her and invite her in, and refuse to let anyone or anything else enter there.
3) FALL IN LOVE OVER and OVER and OVER again. You will constantly change. You’re not the same people you were when you got married, and in five years you will not be the same person you are today. Change will come, and in that you have to re-choose each other everyday. SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO STAY WITH YOU, and if you don’t take care of her heart, she may give that heart to someone else or seal you out completely, and you may never be able to get it back. Always fight to win her love just as you did when you were courting her.
4) ALWAYS SEE THE BEST in her. Focus only on what you love. What you focus on will expand. If you focus on what bugs you, all you will see is reasons to be bugged. If you focus on what you love, you can’t help but be consumed by love. Focus to the point where you can no longer see anything but love, and you know without a doubt that you are the luckiest man on earth to be have this woman as your wife.
5) IT’S NOT YOUR JOB TO CHANGE OR FIX HER… your job is to love her as she is with no expectation of her ever changing. And if she changes, love what she becomes, whether it’s what you wanted or not.
6) TAKE FULL ACCOUNTABILITY for your own emotions: It’s not your wife’s job to make you happy, and she CAN’T make you sad. You are responsible for finding your own happiness, and through that your joy will spill over into your relationship and your love.
7) NEVER BLAME your wife If YOU get frustrated or angry at her, it is only because it is triggering something inside of YOU. They are YOUR emotions, and your responsibility. When you feel those feelings take time to get present and to look within and understand what it is inside of YOU that is asking to be healed. You were attracted to this woman because she was the person best suited to trigger all of your childhood wounds in the most painful way so that you could heal them… when you heal yourself, you will no longer be triggered by her, and you will wonder why you ever were.
Allow your woman to JUST BE. When she’s sad or upset, it’s not your job to fix it, it’s your job to HOLD HER and let her know it’s ok. Let her know that you hear her, and that she’s important and that you are that pillar on which she can always lean. The feminine spirit is about change and emotion and like a storm her emotions will roll in and out, and as you remain strong and unjudging she will trust you and open her soul to you… DON’T RUN-AWAY WHEN SHE’S UPSET. Stand present and strong and let her know you aren’t going anywhere. Listen to what she is really saying behind the words and emotion.
9) BE SILLY… don’t take yourself so damn seriously. Laugh. And make her laugh. Laughter makes everything else easier.
10) FILL HER SOUL EVERYDAY… learn her love languages and the specific ways that she feels important and validated and CHERISHED. Ask her to create a list of 10 THINGS that make her feel loved and memorize those things and make it a priority everyday to make her feel like a queen.
11) BE PRESENT. Give her not only your time, but your focus, your attention and your soul. Do whatever it takes to clear your head so that when you are with her you are fully WITH HER. Treat her as you would your most valuable client. She is.
12) BE WILLING TO TAKE HER SEXUALLY, to carry her away in the power of your masculine presence, to consume her and devour her with your strength, and to penetrate her to the deepest levels of her soul. Let her melt into her feminine softness as she knows she can trust you fully.
13) DON’T BE AN IDIOT…. And don’t be afraid of being one either. You will make mistakes and so will she. Try not to make too big of mistakes, and learn from the ones you do make. You’re not supposed to be perfect, just try to not be too stupid.
14) GIVE HER SPACE… The woman is so good at giving and giving, and sometimes she will need to be reminded to take time to nurture herself. Sometimes she will need to fly from your branches to go and find what feeds her soul, and if you give her that space she will come back with new songs to sing…. (okay, getting a little too poetic here, but you get the point. Tell her to take time for herself, ESPECIALLY after you have kids. She needs that space to renew and get re-centered, and to find herself after she gets lost in serving you, the kids and the world.)
15) BE VULNERABLE… you don’t have to have it all together. Be willing to share your fears and feelings, and quick to acknowledge your mistakes.
16) BE FULLY TRANSPARENT. If you want to have trust you must be willing to share EVERYTHING… Especially those things you don’t want to share. It takes courage to fully love, to fully open your heart and let her in when you don't know i she will like what she finds... Part of that courage is allowing her to love you completely, your darkness as well as your light. DROP THE MASK… If you feel like you need to wear a mask around her, and show up perfect all the time, you will never experience the full dimension of what love can be.
17) NEVER STOP GROWING TOGETHER… The stagnant pond breeds malaria, the flowing stream is always fresh and cool. Atrophy is the natural process when you stop working a muscle, just as it is if you stop working on your relationship. Find common goals, dreams and visions to work towards.
18) DON’T WORRY ABOUT MONEY. Money is a game, find ways to work together as a team to win it. It never helps when teammates fight. Figure out ways to leverage both persons strength to win.
19) FORGIVE IMMEDIATELY and focus on the future rather than carrying weight from the past. Don’t let your history hold you hostage. Holding onto past mistakes that either you or she makes, is like a heavy anchor to your marriage and will hold you back. FORGIVENESS IS FREEDOM. Cut the anchor loose and always choose love.
20) ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. In the end, this is the only advice you need. If this is the guiding principle through which all your choices is governed, there is nothing that will threaten the happiness of your marriage. Love will always endure.
In the end MARRIAGE isn’t about Happily ever after. It’s about work. And a commitment to grow together and a willingness to continually invest in creating something that can endure eternity. Through that work, the happiness will come.
Marriage is life, and it will bring ups and downs. Embracing all of the cycles and learning to learn from and love each experience will bring the strength and perspective to keep building, one brick at a time.
These are lessons I learned the hard way. These are lessons I learned too late.
But these are lessons I am learning and committed in carrying forward. Truth is, I LOVED being married, and in time, I will get married again, and when I do, I will build it with a foundation that will endure any storm and any amount of time.
If you are reading this and find wisdom in my pain, share it those those young husbands whose hearts are still full of hope, and with those couples you may know who may have forgotten how to love. One of those men may be like I was, and in these hard earned lessons perhaps something will awaken in him and he will learn to be the man his lady has been waiting for.
The woman that told him 'I do', and trusted her life with him, has been waiting for this man to step up.
If you are reading this and your marriage isn’t what you want it to be, take 100% responsibility for YOUR PART in marriage, regardless of where your spouse is at, and commit to applying these lessons while there is time.
MEN- THIS IS YOUR CHARGE : Commit to being an EPIC LOVER. There is no greater challenge, and no greater prize. Your woman deserves that from you.
Be the type of husband your wife can’t help but brag about.
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